The Homeless.

We were in Atlanta the other day, and that is the heart of where the homeless “reside” in Georgia.  I never knew this about my dad, but I guess he hates homeless people because all he’s experienced are the beggers and stealers, so he, like a lot of people, generalized the homeless population. That generalization hurts me.

If I walk by a homeless person I always feel sadness and sorrow and a wish that I could help them in some way. Maybe I’ll come across a homeless person who actually is a begger and a stealer, but what am I supposed to do? Stop helping alll of the people because one bad apple was in the bunch? That doesn’t work for me.

Per An average of 26% of homeless people are considered mentally ill, while 13% of homeless individuals were physically disabled (U.S. Conference of Mayors, 2008). 19% of single homeless people are victims of domestic violence while 13% are veterans and 2% are HIV positive.

And this volunteer group that I participate in every now and then, Live love (hollaa), is very considerate and open to helping the homeless. I’ve been to Tent City, which is pretty much a community of homeless people living together in tents on the side of a highway or wherever, and to witness that first hand was a shocker to me. And I saw a couple of guys rummaging through a garbage can, and not begging, in search of some scraps. Live Love has this thing called 30wego where they go hand out blankets, hand warmers, and a lot more things to the homeless people in Atlanta if the temperature drops below 30 degrees. And I forget that it’s a privilege to be out in that kind of weather with a heavy jacket and a cap when some people are sleeping on the streets on the freezing concrete with no shoes, no blankets or anything.

A worker at the safe house for homeless people made us do an exercise: Imagine losing everything with no one to turn to and ending up on the streets. Imagine the support system that you think you have end up failing you and you have no where to go but the streets. How do you find food? Where do you sleep tonight? Is it safe? Can you even sleep tonight? Say someone is nice enough to give you some food, but it ends up giving you diarrhea. What do you do then? You’re a female and you just started your menstrual cycle. What do you do to help yourself?

So of course a lot of homeless people may turn into, meaning they were sober and clean prior, alcoholics or “druggies”. Maybe that makes them feel just that much better about their situation. Especially if they’ve been out on the streets for so long. What do you have to lose?

So that’s why it hurts me when people talk bad about the entire homeless population. A lot of them did not choose to be in the predicament that they ended up in. A lot of the people are not bad people. One bad apple does not mean the whole bunch is spoiled.


Just remember I’m yours and you’re mine. Whatever happens between us, at the end of the day you stayed for a reason.

I wonder if I’ll ever miss crying over a guy. Just to be so heart broken because I loved the guy so damn much that I just can’t hold myself back from crying. I hate crying now, but I wonder if that’s a good thing. Does it not indicate that I actually do love my significant other with everything I have? Yeah, I’m a sensitive little thing, but I don’t cry over just anything honestly. 

Maybe it’s because other people are more mature than I am and stronger and understand that “everything happens for a reason” and that’s why they don’t cry. I don’t know. I just hope I can love hard when I’m in my 40s like I love now. Tears or no tears. 

I found a new tennis “coach” (:

She’s cool. She’s really good. Way better than me. She has an amazing serve, and what I like most is that she’s also studying exercise science, which I find really interesting. She’s also 30 something, but that doesn’t matter because she’s amazing at tennis.

So, since she’s studying exercise science, I agreed to be her guinea pig to whatever exercise she wants. I love to move, to exercise, to sweat. She agreed to condition me every Saturday morning, early in the morning specifically for tennis, and from what my brother tells me, she works people hard. Good (: I can’t wait for next Saturday morning now.

And then she taught me a little about serving. Now, I don’t listen to many people because I’m stubborn and hard headed, but everything she said made a lot of sense to me and I got better in a matter of 5 minutes. Amazing right? So, if I can do tat in just 5 minutes, once a week should do me some good. 

I can’t wait (: especially for the exercising part. 

I kind of don’t want a daughter.

Ever since I was little I’ve dreamed of having a family, the perfect wedding, someone who loves me to death, and the perfect job. I’m actually sure that’s what all little girls dream of. But that’s just the problem.

First of all, how am I supposed to dress a tiny little girl when I can barely dress myself? Then, I’m going to have to deal with her first getting her period. Oh gosh. I’m going to have to watch her start complaining about her body. I don’t want that to happen, but you kind of can’t avoid it; unless you’re one of the rare ones. And let’s not talk about when she discovers make up and walks out the house looking like a fucking street walker. Plus,  two people of the female gender naturally clash, so that’ll be hell. 

And of course.. the boys. She’ll get her first crush and come home all smiley and goofy, and I’ll know exactly why. She’ll start wanting to act all pretty and smell all nice. I’ll know why. Next thing I know, she’ll end up with her first boyfriend. How fuuunnnn. I’d love to watch her prance around the house happy and glowing, but 99% of the time, there’s a heart break that follows. Then I’ll have to watch her mope around the house, tears running down her face, crying as she explains that she doesn’t know why he ended it and how much she loved him. I’ll have to watch guys come and go and watch her little heart get broken each time they leave. Maybe she’ll be a heart breaker instead, which also isn’t a good thing, but if she has the sensitivity that I do then…. damn. 

But I kind of still do want one. Too early to be talking about kids, but I’m just thinking, “how does my mom put up with me and all of my mood swings and lady problems??”