I Need You to Understand.

I love you. More than anything. Do you understand that? And understand that because I love you I value and respect every single one of your thoughts, opinion, ideas, etc. And I’m sure you’ve noticed that you can be a little… harsh, and even condescending sometimes.

But what I need you to understand is that it hurts my feelings. Plus it makes you seem like an arrogant ass hole.

When I tell you things it’s because you’re up there in the top 5 most important people in my life and I want to share every momentous occasion or piece of wonderful news with you in hopes that you’ll understand my joy and be happy with me. Hell, I’ll even tell you the bad things. I’ll tell you the sad things. I’ll rant to you. I’ll even puke mushy-gush love crap on you sometimes (no matter how many times I say I’m not emotional, let’s be real, I’m a 16 year old female in a relationship with my first love. It’s bound to happen).

You are my boyfriend. You are the one I tell everything to (unless I’m complaining about you). So I need you to understand the things that are important to me. I don’t need you to like them. We are almost two completely different people and I kind of like that. Same is boring. But even though I don’t want you to like them, I want you to see that they make me happy and that you can’t just verbally bash and criticize the things that make me who I am.

Sure, tell me that you don’t agree with me or like what I do or listen to or enjoy, but don’t start saying things like “What the fuck? You like that shit? Oh my gosh it’s so stupid and lame and my shit is the shit”. Oh yeah. Very supportive. Very loving.

Not everything I do is wrong or asinine, and not everything you do is right or sensible. I just need you to understand.

I know it’s not the most loved song, but I found it kind of fitting. Also, I love Sam Smith ❤



The thing that made me love Babe from the start is that he doesn’t sit on his ass all day and play video games because he’s athletic. I mean, seriously. How hot is an athlete? Very. We all love them.

But the same thing that drew me too him is the same thing that’s pissing me off. It’s like he’s too athletic. He needs to chill the fuck out. He wants to play baseball and football. I thought that after he got done with baseball we would finally be able to spend time with each other for more than 5 minutes a day. Sometimes I get 2 hours though. Yay.

That sounds really clingy and needy, huh?

C’mon. You understand what it’s like to want to be with someone you love every hour of every day. And when you’re my age, it seems like more of a necessity because it’s a rarity.

Anyways, I was wrong. Now he wants to go do football, and as athletic as he is, they want him as quarterback. First-string, second, third, whatever. It’s still a quarterback. He initially wanted to be a… wide receiver? I think that’s what it was. Football lingo goes in one ear and out the other for me. So, when he wanted to do that, he didn’t think it was necessary to go to summer training. NOW, he has to if he wants to be quarterback which is like a dream for him.

On top of that, he has baseball in the summer, too. Weird…

So, we’re gonna get absolutely no time together in the next 2 years. -Sad face-

And now it’s time to be really selfish: He won’t get to be there for me. I am always there for him. (No matter how much tickets and stuff are. But let me say that now that he’s gonna be playing football, it’s gonna be way more expensive to support him) Always. But that’s because my schedule is flexible. The girls’ sports at my school aren’t as demanding as the guys’, so I get out of practice earlier and they’re pretty lenient. I’m not blaming him. I’m not telling him to quit. I’m not trying to make this his fault. I’m just saying that it really really sucks some ass. If I do softball, he won’t be there. If I do basketball, he won’t be there. If I do volleyball, he definitely won’t be there (only because our team suck and I wouldn’t really want him there anyways).

-Sigh-… Damn him and his athleticism.

Plus girls gonna be hitting on him and shit because he’s cute and football is the biggest sport at the school and blah blah. That won’t be good. I can see it.

I’m not into the mainstream shit.

And it makes me pissed as hell when my friends always say “YOU NEED TO GET A TWITTER” “Omg. You need to get an istagram.” “Dude, snap chat is so fun!” “Catch up, get a Kik”

Okay, I’ll admit I have all of those things, but the point is, I’m not into that kind of stuff. You’re not going to see me walking around snapchatting everywhere or tweeting every fucking thing that I’m doing. I don’t take selfies, and I don’t really take a whole lot of pictures in general. While most people have Twitters, I have a WordPress. I don’t care. I want somewhere to share my thoughts, but I’d rather keep my life still as personal as I can. Only the people closest to me know about this. And I have a Tumblr, but that’s honestly just for my erotica/porn. Yeah, I’m not ashamed.

And I like personal connections better. I don’t want to spend more than 1/2 my day on twitter. Let’s go to the park and play tennis or actually meet up. “I have a lot of homework” C’mon. Most of you guys aren’t going to do it anyways.

And now Boyfriend has a snapchat. He’s upgradinnggg. But… I don’t know. He said he spent all day fucking snapchatting and tells me to snapchat him. I’m sorry babe, no. And so, now, if I don’t snapchat you, does that mean we’re not going to talk? Does that mean that I come AFTER your snapchat buddies? And on top of that he’s snapchatting ‘her’ and another one of his exes, which is hard since he has so many, that I’m not fond of anymore.

All this crap… I’m not into.