Guess Who :D

Okay, I’m really excited about this. I love this group so much. Their voices are heaven and their songs are so relatable. They have so much soul and they create “real” music to me. They’re not THAT old, but they’re not new. And I never thought that I would get the opportunity to see them in concert. But I did, and I also got to see them back stage and take a picture with them (: ❤

It’s Boyz II Men, guys. And I know it’s a crappy photo, but I promise you that’s them. And their concert was amazing. My mom introduced me to their music, and pretty much all the music that I love, so she was my date and this band evokes so many emotions for the both of us that we were in tears pretty much the whole time. And my brother there said it was “cool”.

I’ve only been to two concerts in my whole life, and thankfully they were two concerts I actually wanted to go to and will never forget. 

Oh. They were funny, too (: and their concert was a lot more up-beat than I think anyone expected, so that was great!

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I wonder if I’ll ever miss crying over a guy. Just to be so heart broken because I loved the guy so damn much that I just can’t hold myself back from crying. I hate crying now, but I wonder if that’s a good thing. Does it not indicate that I actually do love my significant other with everything I have? Yeah, I’m a sensitive little thing, but I don’t cry over just anything honestly. 

Maybe it’s because other people are more mature than I am and stronger and understand that “everything happens for a reason” and that’s why they don’t cry. I don’t know. I just hope I can love hard when I’m in my 40s like I love now. Tears or no tears. 

Getting Rejected.

You ask someone, “will you go out with me?”, “will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?” and you put your feelings, your heart, and yourself out on the line to either become the happiest person ever or get let down and just fall apart.

You’re waiting in agony for their answer. It’s only one word, but it means everything to you. You’re anxious and you have a shit ton of feelings built up in you that you can’t even express. You’re queasy. You wish you could just read minds.

If they say yes, you’re ecstatic. You jump for joy and you know there’s nothing else that can happen in that moment that will make you any happier. You have the person you can’t stop thinking about, the one you can’t stop dreaming about, calling you theirs, and you finally get to call him/her yours. You can just picture how it’s going to be between you and your now significant other: amazing. You’re just so happy.

Getting rejected is a whole other process, though. Your stomach drops. You’re not the type of person to cry, but for a split second, you feel like you just want to assume fetal position in a corner with a gallon of Ben & Jerry’s with five boxes of tissues. Even if you’re a guy. If she/he actually meant that much to you. Your eyes widen. Your jaw may or may not drop. You can’t believe what you just heard. The heart shattering, the gut wrenching “no”. Some try to fight for a chance, but the many I know just leave in utter disbelief. You actually thought you had a chance. To know that you were fooling yourself the whole time and forcing yourself to believe that they actually liked you… it kills you a little, it does, Your ego dies a bit.

You’re heart broken. Over someone that wasn’t even yours.

It’s easy to be the one doing the rejecting. You’ve lost your feelings already, if there ever were any, and you’ve already moved on and forgotten about them. To be the one getting rejected? Now that’s hard. How are you supposed to forget someone that meant the absolute WORLD to you? I mean, now you know that you don’t have a fighting chance and you have to move on or suffer. When you get rejected, isn’t there always going to be that feeling of “what if” and maybe left over feelings? You never got the chance to see their bad side and make the decision for yourself that you don’t like them anymore. They kind of did that part for you. In your eyes, they’re still perfect, aren’t they?

Will there always be some residual feelings for that person? Do you learn to get over someone that was just so perfect to you and did nothing wrong to make you think otherwise?

MY BEST FRIEND.

One of them at least.

He’s such a good best friend (: annoying as fuck, but good. He wants me to do good this school year, and I don’t know what he hasn’t done to ensure that other than do my homework for me. Sometimes I wish he would, though. -.- I hate homework.

Anyways, yeah. He’s amazing. He’s such a good guy and conversationalist. He’s helpful and caring. I know what he’s been through with his first love. I mean, that’s how we became best friends; we were going through break ups at the same time.

I don’t have many close friends. Actually, I really only have two, and, come to think of it, I really don’t have a lot of friends. I don’t have many people that I can talk to on a deeper level. I don’t have many people that I don’t feel awkward around. To find people that make you feel so comfortable and able to be yourself is the best. To find people who you feel like you’ve known your whole life even if you haven’t is great.

I don’t think this guy will leave me. I think this guy is one of those permanent best friends that you see yourself talking to even AFTER high school. I love it.

But, before I feel like I’m neglecting my other best friend by the lack of bragging about her, let’s go:

I love this bitch to death ❤ lol. She’s amazing. And I think it’s even more amazing that we used to hate each other, and now she’s my ride or die. I know she ain’t leaving me! And I’m never leaving her. She’s moved and I thought that it would at least damage our friendship by a little, honestly, but I’m so glad that it didn’t. I still miss her like hell. She’s beautiful and a pain in the ass, and I couldn’t ask her to be any different ❤

I LOVE MY BEST FRIENDS.