Guess Who :D

Okay, I’m really excited about this. I love this group so much. Their voices are heaven and their songs are so relatable. They have so much soul and they create “real” music to me. They’re not THAT old, but they’re not new. And I never thought that I would get the opportunity to see them in concert. But I did, and I also got to see them back stage and take a picture with them (: ❤

It’s Boyz II Men, guys. And I know it’s a crappy photo, but I promise you that’s them. And their concert was amazing. My mom introduced me to their music, and pretty much all the music that I love, so she was my date and this band evokes so many emotions for the both of us that we were in tears pretty much the whole time. And my brother there said it was “cool”.

I’ve only been to two concerts in my whole life, and thankfully they were two concerts I actually wanted to go to and will never forget. 

Oh. They were funny, too (: and their concert was a lot more up-beat than I think anyone expected, so that was great!

I Need You to Understand.

I love you. More than anything. Do you understand that? And understand that because I love you I value and respect every single one of your thoughts, opinion, ideas, etc. And I’m sure you’ve noticed that you can be a little… harsh, and even condescending sometimes.

But what I need you to understand is that it hurts my feelings. Plus it makes you seem like an arrogant ass hole.

When I tell you things it’s because you’re up there in the top 5 most important people in my life and I want to share every momentous occasion or piece of wonderful news with you in hopes that you’ll understand my joy and be happy with me. Hell, I’ll even tell you the bad things. I’ll tell you the sad things. I’ll rant to you. I’ll even puke mushy-gush love crap on you sometimes (no matter how many times I say I’m not emotional, let’s be real, I’m a 16 year old female in a relationship with my first love. It’s bound to happen).

You are my boyfriend. You are the one I tell everything to (unless I’m complaining about you). So I need you to understand the things that are important to me. I don’t need you to like them. We are almost two completely different people and I kind of like that. Same is boring. But even though I don’t want you to like them, I want you to see that they make me happy and that you can’t just verbally bash and criticize the things that make me who I am.

Sure, tell me that you don’t agree with me or like what I do or listen to or enjoy, but don’t start saying things like “What the fuck? You like that shit? Oh my gosh it’s so stupid and lame and my shit is the shit”. Oh yeah. Very supportive. Very loving.

Not everything I do is wrong or asinine, and not everything you do is right or sensible. I just need you to understand.

I know it’s not the most loved song, but I found it kind of fitting. Also, I love Sam Smith ❤

AYE. YOU.

If you like creepy/scary stories then you should go to reddit.com/r/nosleep ooorrr resdit.com/r/shortscarystories

Seriously. Do it.

This is honestly the most I’ve read in a while. I know, I’m pitiful, but the people on there actually tell some really great stories. And I absolutely love a good short scary story. A goose-bump-giving, spine-chilling creepy/scary/weird story at that.

SCHOOL IS OUUTT.

Finally.

This year was absolute crap. I hated 4.5 out of 7 of my classes (because I like math, but the teacher sucks ass, and like… a lot of it) and I just totally fucked up. I don’t even have a 4.0 anymore ): Actually, I never really did. I only had a 4.0 last year because AP classes get that extra 10 points. So in reality, my GPA is probably like a 3.5 or something. That number just depresses me so much…

But we’re out of school! And I don’t have to think about that for a while. And next year will be so much better; I already know it.

I’ll probably feel this self-shamed feeling next year, though, but I’m not proud of it. I’m just so lazy. I want everything perfect and if it’s not 100% perfect or worthy of being turned in with my name on it, then I just don’t turn it in at all.

Anyways,

School. Is. Out.

Summer List:

• Softball
• Tennis
• Boyfriend (if he ever has time, what with baseball and football…)
• Quality Dad time
• HOPEFULLY I’LL BE DRIVING. I’M ABOUT TO GET MY PERMIT!
• Exercise. Yes.
• I would like to go camping…

So, I think it’s going to be a nice summer. Honestly, I don’t want to go on vacation. I don’t like car rides and I don’t even really like the beach or the ocean. I want to go to the aquarium though 😀 Good thing my state has the best aquarium ever.

Happy Summer, Guys (:

UUUGGHH.

The thing that made me love Babe from the start is that he doesn’t sit on his ass all day and play video games because he’s athletic. I mean, seriously. How hot is an athlete? Very. We all love them.

But the same thing that drew me too him is the same thing that’s pissing me off. It’s like he’s too athletic. He needs to chill the fuck out. He wants to play baseball and football. I thought that after he got done with baseball we would finally be able to spend time with each other for more than 5 minutes a day. Sometimes I get 2 hours though. Yay.

That sounds really clingy and needy, huh?

C’mon. You understand what it’s like to want to be with someone you love every hour of every day. And when you’re my age, it seems like more of a necessity because it’s a rarity.

Anyways, I was wrong. Now he wants to go do football, and as athletic as he is, they want him as quarterback. First-string, second, third, whatever. It’s still a quarterback. He initially wanted to be a… wide receiver? I think that’s what it was. Football lingo goes in one ear and out the other for me. So, when he wanted to do that, he didn’t think it was necessary to go to summer training. NOW, he has to if he wants to be quarterback which is like a dream for him.

On top of that, he has baseball in the summer, too. Weird…

So, we’re gonna get absolutely no time together in the next 2 years. -Sad face-

And now it’s time to be really selfish: He won’t get to be there for me. I am always there for him. (No matter how much tickets and stuff are. But let me say that now that he’s gonna be playing football, it’s gonna be way more expensive to support him) Always. But that’s because my schedule is flexible. The girls’ sports at my school aren’t as demanding as the guys’, so I get out of practice earlier and they’re pretty lenient. I’m not blaming him. I’m not telling him to quit. I’m not trying to make this his fault. I’m just saying that it really really sucks some ass. If I do softball, he won’t be there. If I do basketball, he won’t be there. If I do volleyball, he definitely won’t be there (only because our team suck and I wouldn’t really want him there anyways).

-Sigh-… Damn him and his athleticism.

Plus girls gonna be hitting on him and shit because he’s cute and football is the biggest sport at the school and blah blah. That won’t be good. I can see it.

Live Love.

Ayyee. If you’re in Georgia you should help volunteer with Project Live Love (: We help the homeless in more ways than one. This past Saturday I personally just helped by painting tables down at the Gateway Center in Atlanta, but there were more people doing things like serving food, giving hair cuts, doing nails, and giving basic health exams for the people that came out. It only takes about 4 hours out of your day. And you feel good (:

He said, “I think the last time I cried was when we got back together because I didn’t think it was going to work out. And it had to work out.” He’s the best. He’s the cutest (:

I was gonna keep the memories

but then I decided that I don’t need them. Plus the fact that I really don’t want to keep them. I mean, he means absolutely nothing to me now, and to keep stuff that relates to him is crazy. I used to think, “One day, my kids might want to know things and I can show them with my diaries and shit, or one day I’ll just want to revisit”, but now I think, “Nah. Fuck it. I have a mouth. I can just tell them. I don’t want to ever be reminded of the shit I put up with dating Ex Boyfriend”.

So all the posts, all the pictures, all the everything: Gone. Deleted. And I couldn’t care less. If I want to think about it one day, which is highly unlikely, I can just do that. Think about it.

I didn’t HAVE to “know” her.

Excuse the very vague titles by the way. I’ve always sucked at those.

Anyways, my great grandmother passed away around 1:30 a.m. Sunday morning. And this isn’t really going to be a depressing post about how much I miss her and what not, not because I’m insensitive, but because I really didn’t get on a personal basis with her and didn’t really know her as a person. I just kind of knew her as the really old great grandma that doesn’t speak English (which was the absolute biggest problem because I didn’t speak Spanish), liked to show me her bunions, and liked horses. Except… I didn’t know she liked horses until about 2 weeks ago. So she was just the Spanish-speaking old great grandmother obsessed with showing me her bunions.

But she was my great grandmother. Great. Did I really have to know her that much to miss her? Maybe I’m not going to break down and be burdened with her death for months to come, but it still hurts, you know? Those memories are enough for me to say, “Damn. I live in a world where Grandma Mercy doesn’t exist. This sucks”.

So, she doesn’t speak English right? But she still loved to listen to me “sing” when I was little. I would stand on a little stump out in my Abuela’s back yard and sing to my great granny “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”, and I could not even begin to describe how much joy there was in her eyes watching me, or just how much more her smile glowed, or how elated she was just to be there. With her great granddaughter. Watching her sing. Yeah, my voice suck ass, but all grandparents love to watch grandchildren be grandchildren and be all cute and stuff. Even if they don’t understand a damn thing they’re saying.

Yeah. I miss her.

And I was expressing this to Babe and how in Cuba they wear black for three days and don’t listen to the radio or watch tv (apparently), and he says, “Why? That’s stupid. You didn’t even know her”. I have to say, that made me a little mad. I can’t respect her, her tradition, her family, MY family, miss or love her because I wasn’t buddy-buddy with her? She will forever be the Spanish-speaking old great grandmother obsessed with showing me her bunions and loved to listen to me sing. And loved casinos. Shit, she loved casinos.

I didn’t HAVE to “know” her.

Bwahaha. Finally all caught up on Grey’s Anatomy: the show where everyone just bangs each other but is still my obsession. I feel accomplished.